All Patched Up

Tracie is out of surgery and doing well. The doctor told us that she had about a half of an inch hole in her heart. He also said that as holes in hearts go, this was a whopper! He repaired the hole using a piece of surgical Gore-Tex called a Helex device. www.goremedical.com/helex/ . Can you believe that this woman has run marathons with this big-ass "hole" in her heart? Any of you want to pick a fight with Mama you do it at your own risk. She will be staying overnight for observation and we will be home tomorrow around noon. Right now there is no pain and she is just a little groggy from the procedure. I am sure that by Sunday she will be challenging Drew to an arm wrestle. Let's all be glad we live during a time of modern medicine. Brilliant people have fixed my wife. That's right kids study up on your math and science!

Heart Repair Facts

When you tell someone you are having heart surgery the first reaction is...."WHAT?"  This is the reason I have been hesitant to share with the world that I am having the hole in my heart repaired.  Let me back up and start from the beginning. 

I have suffered from migraine headaches most of my life.  My earliest memory of headaches is from when I was 8.  I had a horrible headache that would not go away.  It lasted most of the day and I remember crying and asking my mom what could be done.  We tried a dark room, a cold cloth on my head and even medicine,which I was not good at taking and would "gag" down.  It finally went away after a blessing and I went to sleep.  Since that time I have had migraines that ranged from minor irritation to excruciating pain associated with changes in my vision, difficulty speaking, facial numbness and numbness in my hands and legs.  They are always worse when my body is in stress.  Pregnancy, loss of sleep, surgery, marathons or strenuous exercise.  I have always had these so I ignored them and chalked it up to me being me.  Apparently, it wasn't normal.

A few months ago, my mother found out that her brother that passed away waiting for a lung transplant had a Patent Foramen Ovale or PFO in his heart.  This means that as a baby the valve that goes between the top two chambers of the heart or atrium never closed.  This valve is open in a fetus to allow blood to flow from the mother to flow through the body without going to the lungs for "cleaning" and oxygenation.  When babies are born this valve closes and circulation of the heart becomes normal.  This is the case or about 75% of the population.  However, I am finding that 25% of us have varying degrees of closure.  When my Uncle's doctors found his PFO they told him it was hereditary.  They told him to inform his family, as it could be a possibility for them as well.  Since that time, Martha, another aunt and my mother have both found they have PFO's or Atrial Septal Defects (AFD) as well.  Martha had hers fixed in March.  Anna, my mother, did not need hers repaired.  Although she has a ASD it is not large enough to repair.  Mine on the other had is quite large.  They range them in size from 1-5.  Anna's is a 2,  mine is a 5+.  This means that the blood  and that should go from my heart to my lungs to be cleaned oftens goes right back out to my body.  Blood clots and other impurities that would normally be cleaned up can go through the hole and are a concern as they can go anywhere in the body.  If they go to the brain, you have a stroke.  If they go somewhere else, they can cause other problems.  I have had other problems and feel lucky that I have not had a major debilitating stroke.  I have heard sad cases of some that have not been so lucky.

To make a long story short, I was training for a triathlon to complete before my 40th birthday this fall.  As my training schedule got more difficult, my headaches got worse.  I had a weird "bruise" on my earlobe that looked like a weird birth mark or peticiae, when blood vessels break under the skin.  It went a way but concerned me.  I was doing what I could to alleviate them.  Sleeping well, eating good, and taking a multivitamin.  I was seeing spots behind my eyes after standing up, or running a hill, or even coughing.  I knew something wasn't right.  Reluctantly, I put my triathlon aside, and went to the Dr.  She prescribed a echo cardiogram.  This showed a "borderline enlarged right atrium."  Because of the nature of my job, I deal with a lot of medical health issues.  I have heard of PFO's before and thought I fit some of the symptoms.  While researching PFO's on line I found that that was one of the indicators of the heart working harder than normal. 

My Dr referred me to a cardiologist.  I have a good friend I grew up with that is a cardiologist, Dr. Scott Hacking.  He prescribed echo cardiogram with bubbles. This means they put CO2 in an IV and see if it goes from one chamber of your heart to the other on ultrasound.  Immediately after getting the bubbles, I started seeing half of things.  This is a normal indicated for me of a migraine.  I saw the bubbles go across the atrium and was relieved.  My symptoms were not just in my mind.  Scott referred me to Dr. Sherman Sorensen.  After some additional testing, they found that the bubbles which simulate blot clots go to my brain.  I am at a high risk of stroke.  I also have a blood disorder, Anticardiolipin syndrome.  This syndrome makes me clot more easily and was one reason I lost Rhett.  After talking with Dr. Sorensen, I found that the hole in my heart could also have been a factor.  I just cried on the way home from this appointment.  My life has been spared numerous times.  Through five pregnancies, c-sections, liver surgery, and four marathons, I have not stroked out.  I am still healthy and able to be a vital part of my family.   Yes, I have an angel baby.  But he also saved my life and Luke's life by his existence. Nothing is a coincidence.  The Lord watches out for us individually.

So today, they are mending my broken heart.  Ha ha,.  I will have an angiogram type procedure to feed a filter or umbrella type device to my heart.  The procedure will take about an hour and then I will be in recovery for another two.  I will spend the night at the hospital and come home in the morning.  Dr. Sorensen and his staff have preformed 10,000 of these with fewer complications than you can count on two hands.  I feel very confident that things will go well.  I have had a blessing and that gives me solace as well.  The Lord will be watching out for me and I know I am in good hands.

Tracie

Adam Gets Braces

Adam got his braces today.  He was supposed to get them in August, but had to reschedule due to a family reunion.  He has had a RPE or Pallet splitter since June.  He looked like a hillbilly for a while with his teeth spread out for two months.  Being 10 years old, Adam is an average boy.  Goofy and playing it to the hilt.  He had a great little dance to go with the teeth.  Always a comedian. Even though he is only 10 he has a 12 year old mouth.  He has lost all his baby teeth and his big teeth are growing in nicely.  He is growing up so fast. 

Rock Climbing for Labor Day

We spent the afternoon rock climbing in Big Cottonwood Canyon.  Had an awesome time.  Drew lead the climb and Mom "cleaned" it.  Madi was next.  She did great until she decided she wasn't.  She cried, Dad was frustrated too, and she was done for the moment.  

Luke and his "Friends"



Next was Luke.  He has not climbed before other than hiked and less than 5 feet off the ground.  He had his 5 point harness on and was playing with the "Cams" and "Friends" in the cracks below the climbs we were on.  These are apparatus' that secure climbers to the rock when bolts are not available.  They compress in size when the pulley's are pulled and then expand when released.  Luke has learned to maneuver them.  He was hanging from the cracks and placing them himself.  He decided today was the day he was going to climb.  We put the climbing shoes,which are two sizes to big, on him and up he went.  He went up about 15 feet and  got nervous.  Daddy helped him and showed him how to be a monkey and jump with his legs bent.  He continue to climb. Kids are awesome climbers because they have a low center of gravity and they use all parts of their body to climb. Luke was making moves, adults have a hard time making.  Dad was thrilled.  He went all the way to the top, 80 feet.  However, once at the top, he forgot to be a monkey.  He wasn't scared but he was trying to climb down.  That can be dangerous as well.  Jared decided that wouldn't work.  He had Drew belay Luke while I belayed him.  He climbed up and to help Luke down.  Lukey was so excited and not scared in the least.  It was amazing.  So fun. 

Madi before climbing

     The next climber was Madi, again.  She didn't want to get shown up by her little brother.  She climbed all the way up and cried the whole time.  She too is a natural, but is afraid of heights, she thinks.  What can we do? We don't make her climb, but she is so competitive she will not be bested.  She gets that from me, I guess.  It is not fun to see your flaws come back at you.  I hope I can help her use it for good. Once on the ground she was thrilled.  Ask her now and she says it was awesome.

Adam

Adam finished the route for the evening.  He too is a natural climber.  He has great upper body strength and knows how to use his feet.  Like Luke he also has been a climber since he was toddler.  Lots of practice climbing trees,tables, and anything else 2 feet off the ground.  He also made it to the top, however, he panicked and couldn't get himself to sit/lie back enough to lower down.  Dad had to go to the rescue once again and help Adam down.  He was rather traumatized, but survived.  Dad had to give Adam some extra snuggles at the top to reassure him he was safe.  Because Adam is such a big kid, we forget how old he really is sometimes.

D being 14

Drew belayed Adam for the first time and did great. He loves climbing and asks to go daily.  It is a fun family activity.  I have forgotten how much I enjoy it too. Either that or I didn't realize how much I liked it before I had kids.  We are all getting better.  The older our kids get the more I enjoy hanging out with them.  We don't have to have electronics or stuff to be happy.  Like the commercials say: "It's about TIME." 

 a

Madi gets her braces off

Red letter day in our house. Madi got her braces off today. She can't quit smiling. Beautiful girl.

Kids do the "darnedest things"

Sometimes our children do things that make us either laugh or cry. Like Elder Wirthlin's conference talk a few years ago, "Come what may and Love it". It is always better to laugh at ourselves. This will make you laugh too.

My new calling is Wolf/Bear scout leader. There are three of us so that there are atleast two of us at each activity according to scout guidelines. Between my work schedule and kids games and activities of my fellow leaders, we usually end up with just two at a time. Anyway, yesterday our scouts were in charge of the flag ceremony for pack meeting. Our Wolf scouts brought the flag in. I stood behind the "Denner" or lead scout and helped him call out the directions to the color guard. They were a bit nervous but did great. After the flag was posted we all returned to our seats. We have a new Scout Chairman and he had no idea he was to help "coach". I didn't know I was going to be in charge so I had to "wing" the commands. It went ok.

As a leader, I am entitled to wear the "Den Mother" uniform or yellow scout shirt. I have refused to do this on principal, since I think they are awful. I was wearing my regular clothes, shorts, pink shirt and sweater. This is what I looked like:

So, as I was returning to my seat, I passed Madi sitting next to me. Jared was sitting behind us with Drew and the remaining 30 parents were spread out between two sides of the primary room we were in. You can see that I have darling roses and details on my top. Madi was very interested in them as she reached up with both her hands, as if she was grabbing apples and squeezed the flowers and my chest. Jared, Drew and the 20 other parents laughed. I turned bright red, and said "Well, that was nice". The friend next to Drew turned three shades of red as well. My friend and fellow leader, sitting next to me, said, "I guess we didn't do the flag ceremony right, everyone was laughing." My response, "No, they were laughing at me."

Adam receives his Arrow of Light

Adam is a Webelos scout. He has been in this den since his last birthday in January. He received his Webelos badge in April. He decided he wanted to get his Arrow of light in six months. I helped him stay on track by taking his book with us everywhere we went. When we went to Moab for Spring break, he did two activity pins, Naturalist and Traveler. For the Naturalist, we looked at the rocks and plants in Arches. We found Indian paintbrush and Yucca on our hike to Sand Arch. It was educational for all of us. For the Traveler pin, Adam learned to read a road map and how to follow a compass of a map. We talked about how to follow directions in a car and on the interstate. I don't remember how I learned to read a road map, but I enjoyed teaching him how to do it.

Now after six months he has earned 9 activity pins--Artist, Outdoorsman, Readyman, Handyman, Traveler, Craftsman, Scholar, Citezen, and Fitness. He knows the Scout Motto and Oath. The Arrow of Light is the highest award a cub scout can earn. They had a fun ceremony for him and another scout that earned his award as well.

We painted his face like an indian and got to do the "El Toro" cheer. They place their hands on their heads to make horns and yelled "El Torro" three times. Since Adam is a "bull in a china shop" occasionally, we found it to be very fitting. We are very proud of him.

Temple Blessings

I had the opportunity to go to the temple today. I went to the Provo temple and did initiatory. It was such a beautiful day outside today. The sun was shining the weather was warm and I could feel the sun on my face as I got out of the car. I parked outside the temple grounds on the street. As I entered the temple grounds through a side fence the peace I felt was instantaneous. Calming of my spirit and a closeness of the savior. I felt so loved and a peace that I have needed in this fast passed world we live. I decided last night on whim to go between a 7:00 am meeting at work in Provo and my shift in Orem at 11:30 am. I am so glad I did.

I gave up exercise of my body to exercise my spirit. It was a worthy trade that buoyed up my spirit. I have had some busy and hard things week. I am so grateful I listened to the Spirit and fed my soul.

Sometimes we just have to do things. Don't think to much and go and do. Especially those things our Heavenly Father wants us to do. Hearing the promptings of the Holy Ghost is a gift. If we don't use it we lose it. I am so glad I have this precious gift and hope never to lose it.

Rights of Passage

Madi has taken to do her own hair. I am sure you recall she did it for her school pictures this year. I have learned that with our daughter if its not worth it don't argue. So I have taken to letting her dress herself, and do her own hair. She is eight years old for heaven's sake. Her brothers giver her a hard time, but I just tell them to leave her alone. Last week when she took to tucking her jeans into her socks, both Drew and Adam told her she "Looks like and Idiot". No I don't condone the language, but you know how boys are. Anyway, I remember doing the same thing in 8 th grade. We didn't have skinny jeans for a few more years, but we would wrap our pant legs around our ankles and tuck them in the socks. I don't remember if I thought it was cute, just wanted to go with the new fad. I giggle to myself, knowing that someday, she will ask me Why I let her out of the house that way. People know I didn't do her hair, and she gets a sense of independence. She has to learn how to express herself somehow. After all, it's only hair.

Drew gets 100% on his Algebra Test

This is a red letter day. Drew who has struggled with his Math this year got a 100 % on his latest test. It was on polynomials. He had Mrs. F his Pre-Algebra teacher tutor him. !He did great and we are very proud of him. So I had to document the moment. Way to Go D

Hero Day

Today was "Hero Day" at school for Adam and Madi. Madi decided she wanted to be me. I thought, "Okay, lets get your scrubs out." But no. Madi wanted to be me not at work. I came up with the sweater and she came out with the rest. She loved the earrings and headband. This is what you get when you have a "mini me". They actually look like you. She didn't want to take it off and even wanted to wear it the next day. I was flattered.

Pedicures with my sisters

Had a fun afternoon having a Spa Pedicure at "The Clique" in Lindon. My Sister's birthday was a few weeks ago and we found a Groupon for this fun place. Tana, Tanise and I had a fun time getting pampered for an hour. Tara wasn't feeling well and had to bow out. We missed her. I had to wear my flip flops to protect the polish for a few hours. Unfortunately, I didn't keep them on long enough. They have shoes there as well. I had to try them on of course, and messed up the polish on my big toes. They were sweet and re-did them before I left. I love them. We met the rest of the McFam for dinner, Cafe Rio was divine. Michael was in town and we had a great time chatting. Just the adults this time. It was fun. I got to hold Little K12. So "squishy". I miss little ones of my own, and am glad I have others to snuggle. Thanks Mom of 12 for sharing!

"The Title of Liberty"

Adam was in charge of Family home evening tonight. He found a picture of Captain Moroni that Grandma Mattie gave Lukey last year. Luke likes to look at him and his armor. Adam with his imagination saw that we have the costume to match. He dressed Luke as Captian Moroni and read us the story. Luke didn't want to keep it on long, but we had a great example to refer to. Adam even made the "Title of Liberty" out of fabric and a large stick from the yard. He is very creative.

Adam gets a new fishing pole

It has been a while since I have blogged so I figured I would update a bit. It has been writing in my journal lately. I find a lot of solace in writing. When I was in high school my parents went through a pretty ugly divorce. I was frustrated, confused and angry. I found that by writing my thoughts down, I could rant and rave to those I couldn't speak to. My mind became clearing and those things I wanted to say, got said. If I write it down, I don't have to remember it anymore. I document the moment and let it go. I did the same after I had Rhett. I was able to talk to him and express my sorrow and anger. It made it easier to cope.

Although I am not going through anything traumatic at the moment, I have decided to write in my journal. It is old school, a pen, paper and my thoughts. They are mostly my thoughts about my children, husband, work, and motherhood. However, they are not always thoughts I would like shared with the masses. So, I will blog less and journal more. I will continue to blog and share milestones, but it will be less than daily. I hope to do so weekly. I am proud of my family and would like to keep you updated.

Adam's birthday is tomorrow. He will be 10 years old. I can not believe it. Ten years ago today, I was in day two of labor with my second child. Drew was such a traumatic experience that I had wanted to do everything "by the book" the second time. Well, I don't exactly follow any book. The book of Tracie is rather unique physically. I was not made to deliver my children the "normal" way. I had Drew by C-section at 3o weeks due to Preeclampsia or toxemia. I was very sick and he was very small at 2 lbs 14 oz. So when it came to have Adam, I was terrified that I would get sick again. My poor doctor earned his stripes on me. I made it 37 weeks, after starting premature labor at 25 weeks. Lots of contractions without dilation. I took Brethene to stop my contractions, but if that didn't work I had to go to the hospital I went to the hospital several times to check my blood pressure and monitor my contractions. They would give me a shot of morphine and send me home. Usually that would stop the contractions. I had to stay down as much as I could when I had contractions. I was also working full time. It was a good thing I got to sit while I worked. I was in labor for 3 days before I delivered.

After 3 days my dr had pity on me and said lets get this baby out. I was a little sad that once again I would not get to be "normal" again. I got over it quickly when they gave me another morphine shot and said go home, have a good nights sleep and deliver in the morning. Everything went well and Little Adam Jared Fillerup was born 6 lbs 4 oz and 18 inches long. He had the cutes dimple in his chin and he was hungry. He has always been a Momma's boy and wanted to nurse right a way. He also didn't want ot leave my sight. I often tell him the story of the nursing bringing him to me in the middle of the night. I had sent him to the nursery so that I could rest through the night. He did not like that and was very upset. As soon as the nurse put in my arms he went to sleep. I truly felt like his mom from that moment. My sweet Adam has always been that way. I am so grateful for his sweet spirit.

Adam decided that he wanted a new fly fishing pole for his birthday. He and Jared went to Cabela's to pick one out. They found a nice blue graphite rod with a reel and line, and a hard case. He loves it. They dressed in their warm weather gear, waders, etc and off they went to the Provo River. Jared is the Fish whisper and knows where the fish hide. He took Adam to his most promising spot. Adam took quite a few casts without luck. After about an hour of trying Adam snagged his first fish. I just happened to be on the phone with Daddy at the time. I heard Adam holler and Jared had to get off the phone to net the catch. 10 minutes later, the fish was caught. Pictures were taken and Adam was thrilled. Dad was as proud as can be. His boy just caught his first fish on a fly rod. He actually caught two, but the second one got off. The fished for about 3 hours and had the best time. What could be better? Dad teaching his son his favorite hobby. Heaven.