Home recovery #2

Here I am.

Well, this is Tracie. My sweet husband is taking a hiatus today, he spent the day doing my chores, and is exhausted. That makes two of us. I am not the type to sit idle, but today, I relished in the quiet of children being at school, and a child and husband sleeping. My pain is under control, but still not comfortable. I feel like I have been at the bottom of a football pile up. I find new soreness and weird scars, where I don't expect. If I turn my head to one side, my lung hurts then I turn the other way and the other one hurts. Weird I know. I think is from the central line they put in during surgery. It was stitched in place right above my right clavicle, the tube went directly into my heart. That was a weird sensation, tasting salt every time they flushed the line. Anyway, they took that out when I left the ICU. Even though I have had 5 previous c sections that experience did not quite prepare me for this. I figured I would have a big ugly scar, but I didn't think I would wind up in ICU and lose a lot of blood. I thought I would be able to run and return to work within 3-4 weeks, and pretty much be back to my crazy self. Well, I feel like I have been hit by a truck. I walk a bit hunched over because I hurt all over. I finally feel like I can eat a little bit, now that my system is running again. I haven't been able to run for about two months. Let's just say, my mental health has suffered, and this has been a bit harder to handle. When the surgeon, that is supposed to be the best, says "that was scary" you tend to believe him. I am winded by sitting up in bed and hope to someday do a full lap around my house without breathing heavy. I know that some of you have been afraid to call, the warden has been doing his job. I am really tired and don't have much energy. Don't worry, I will be back to my old self in no time then we can catch up.

My children are all well, and want to be right where I am. I have only had to banish them once. Luke has learned to milk the system, by just asking for "Mommee" when daddy tries to put him to bed. He is soft for the most part, but wants to lay on my chest to give me real "loves."

I am sorry this is short, but I am done talking. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. I know I would not be here without them. I appreciate all of your help with our children, the meals, etc. My sweet husband may return tomorrow. You didn't know how much he loves me, huh? Well, I did. I am a lucky woman. Talk with you soon.